we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Nov 28th 2006

“i botched the joke” revisited

earlier this month, john kerry told a bunch of community college students that the only option left for those who underperform in school is a tour of duty in iraq.

“Of course I’m sorry about a botched joke. You think I love botched jokes?” Kerry said during an appearance on Don Imus’ nationally syndicated radio program. [cached yahoo article]

now faith hill, unsuspectingly caught on tape reacting with disgust at losing to newcomer carrie underwood at this year’s CMAs, has invoked the same lame excuse:

her apology:

As the country crooner’s reaction upon losing female vocalist of the year to Carrie Underwood became an Internet phenomenon Tuesday, she released a statement saying she was kidding: “The idea that I would act disrespectful towards a fellow musician is unimaginable to me. For this to become a focus of attention given the talent gathered is utterly ridiculous.” [usa today article]
Hill said it was all a joke, and her manager, Gary Borman, echoed that[.] [msnbc article]

so we have seen that kerry’s “botched joke” excuse is replicable (though hill makes no mention of bush). i will have to file this great excuse-qua-deflection-onto-bush away for sometime in the future when i really need it. some possible scenarios:

“officer, i accelerated to 90 mph in front of this elementary school in an attempt to elicit a chuckle from those inside….yes, i realize now that it wasn’t funny. i suppose it was just a botched joke, but not nearly as botched as george bush’s ‘no child left behind’ program.”

“dear IRS: please forgive my characterization of this year’s investment income as an “ordinary loss” and my subsequent taking of a deduction for that amount. it was a joke that you obviously have not enjoyed. on a related note, may i remark that i do not enjoy george bush?”

“dear international society of midgets who golf: please accept my apology for the 43 botched jokes i made at your recent banquet. the truth is, each time i said ‘midget golfer’ i was talking about how george bush is an ‘intellectual midget’ even though he got better grades than me at yale.”

15 Responses to ““i botched the joke” revisited”

  1. steve

    How about Bush’s tasteless jokes about not finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. You guys really are clowns.

  2. wait a second. how could i ever replicate george bush’s no WMD joke to get out of a speeding ticket?

    please explain!

  3. steve

    You guys are creative enough. After all you guys tried to fabricate all kinds of national crises to win the elections. You’ll find a way.

    Actually I was just trying to show that Kerry’s botched joke pales in comparison to Bush’s tasteless humor.

  4. You were “just trying to show”? Wait, do you mean you were “only kidding”? Ohohohoh.. wait, you mean You were joking, Steve? Ha, ha! I shall laugh when I think about this annually every November the 28th. Yea verily, on November the 28th, Steve, the blog commenter, made a comment loosely comparable to a joke, and, when pressed, admitted that it was indeed only a joke, by which means, as Kerry, he might be induced of a necessity of outside pursuasions and pressures, to admit guilt over.

    Shame on you. You can’t even come out and make a direct joke. You make a tease of a qausi-joke of “actually I was just trying to show”. At least Kerry is more brave and made his joke more directly and openly. If they awarded Purple Hearts for Humor, man, he would be the man, and you would be NOTHING. COWARD. SHAME.

  5. steve

    Whatever PF. Quit pontificating; it’s rather stupid. Get over your narcissistic self.

  6. here is a funny bush impersonator video

  7. Hmm. Nailed man hurls insults. Now that’s food for thought.

  8. Steve

    Nailed in what sense. Nobody follows your stupid logic. Again, it was to make you seem important.

  9. Mockery that calls out the cowardice of low spite is well employed while your every utterance shows insults as your stock in trade. And who indeed presumes procuring possession of pontifications far greater than is possible for any human? It is fascinating how often men in your situation suppose not only that they speak for the intentions of others, and that others cannot do so for themselves, but further that they speak for absolutely _everyone_. But it needn’t upset you: men in your situation do it all the time. Nevertheless, you do not employ logic, you employ ad-hominem mud-slinging. You may now stop!

  10. Steve

    You’re right. I’ll back down.

  11. Steve

    I don’t know who tried to sign in for me but nice try Pseudomonas. Again your pontification is best described by Shakespeare

    …It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing…

    Nobody even reads that silly rambling. For whom do you suppose I have said I am speaking. Quit making up silliness.

  12. Steve

    That said pseudomonas, loved your alliteration.

    …presumes procuring possession of pontifications…

  13. First, it’s disappointing that you were wise enough to back down but then open your mouth again. Second, if _nobody_ reads my words, I guess you aren’t anybody. Or do you mean nobody _else_? And if that is so, why should you even concern yourself with reply after reply to my words? Or is _everyone_ reading your words but nobody reading mine? How adoring and loyal must be your fan base of every single visitor to this blog. Or is the point to cut me down? Ah, yes – that is implicit in what is clearly your main point: I am unimportant. But again, if that is so, you needn’t concern yourself with pointing it out: a supposedly unimportant person is ignored, and not of any consequence to anyone else; ergo their presence need not be validated with any reply at all. The only importance I bear in your rhetoric is a contrast: I am unimportant which would mean quite naturally that you are thus important. Or more important. But if I am truly unimportant, you would pay no attention and not reply to me whatsoever. But you insult because it is important to your incredibly and manifestly fat ego to cut me down. Who is the narcissist? I gave you well-deserved mockery for your condescension and insults; you just can’t go away with that, can you? And I have reason now to expect you never will. So I’ll finish with this: since in your reasoning it is apparently so obvious that _nobody_ reads my words, you must know some things that nobody can know. You needn’t even survey the entire readership of this blog, if that were even possible. Yea verily, you, the great Steve, _know_, independent of any need for proof, that _nobody_ is reading my words. Well. One might have mistaken you for God.

    Or a raging, ignorant a******. Take your pick. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. You always win. So say anything you want.

  14. I’ll go on record saying that I think Steve is both way out of line and rediculously illogical. Does he know, without having to look at any proof (if all the readers of this blog could even be asked), that *nobody* is reading PF’s words? Hmm.. but I am. That’s a distraction, though. Steve’s main point is that PF is unimportant. And I suppose everyone reads Steve’s words and skips PF’s. Well, what a fantastic fan base Steve must have. And how much more important must Steve be.

    Are you religious, Steve? Just checking. God is no respector of persons. Everyone is equally important to Him.

    (Except you. I’m kidding)

    But whatever. Steve is being rotten to the core.

  15. […] Steve, Nov 2006 [link] weak reading comprehension skills….be more careful….[This speaks to] the narrowness of your own views. […]