we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Oct 31st 2007

impossible crime occurs at university of kentucky

UK Safety Alert

At approximately 2:50 a.m. on Tuesday, Oct. 30, a male student reported to UK Police that he had been robbed at the corner of University Drive and Complex Drive. The victim stated that he walked passed three males standing in the area and was struck from behind and knocked to the ground. The victim stated that one suspect implied the three individuals had weapons and demanded his valuables. He surrendered his wallet and cell phone. The suspects then fled eastbound on Complex Drive in a small to mid-sized SUV.

All three suspects are male; two are believed to be African American, a description of the third is unknown.

this is the notification sent out to students via email yesterday (view pdf). now here is the report in the student newspaper, the kentucky kernel (sic) (view pdf):

A male student reported to UK police at approximately 2:50 a.m. on Tuesday that he had been robbed at the corner of University Drive and Complex Drive, according to a campus-wide safety alert e-mailed yesterday at 9:26 a.m.

The student was walking down University Drive toward Commonwealth Stadium when he saw three male subjects get out of a SUV-like vehicle, said Maj. Joe Monroe, UK’s interim police chief.

The men pushed him to the ground, implied they had guns, demanded the student’s wallet and took his cell phone, Monroe said, adding that the student said he didn’t see any weapons.

impossible! how could they have had guns? don’t the criminals know UK is a gun-free zone?

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