we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Aug 28th 2007

irony, thy name is miss teen south carolina

“recent polls have shown a fifth of americans can’t find the US on a world map. why do you think this is?”

things you could have said in response to the ridiculous claim that one out of five americans cannot find his own nation on a map:

  • “is it a blank map or a map with the names of the countries written on it?”
  • “many well-meaning government programs, like NCLB, have failed our kids and we have to do better.”
  • “over that last 30 years, the failure of parents to involve themselves in their children’s education has obviously hurt us. either that, or 1 out of 5 americans is blind.”
  • “recent studies have shown that four-fifths of beauty pageant polls are made up. that’s why you just quoted me that ridiculously large percentage.”

what you decided to go with, ultimately:

  • i personally believe people don’t have maps.

south africa was a cause from beauty pageants 20 years ago, though, wasn’t it?

the irony of all this is: this girl is obviously half-retarded, but i have no doubt she could still point out america on a map. the claim that a fifth of americans could be dumber than her is just nonsense.

2 Responses to “irony, thy name is miss teen south carolina”

  1. N Chung

    She got a chance to re-answer the question:

    “I would love to re-answer that question,” Upton said. “Well personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map. I don’t know anyone else who doesn’t. And if the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography.”

  2. bnice

    love the second video.