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A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Dec 9th 2003

miserable failure

there is a google-bombing war going on in the blogosphere. it was started by a bloke or two who thought dick gephardt was right to label a certain president a “miserable failure.” he encouraged others to link the words “miserable failure” to an official website of an american president (who shall, for the moment, remain nameless).

other, more astute and moral bloggers (1) (2) (3) have suggested the likes of jimmy “appeasement” carter and bill “the meaning of is is” clinton as better bearers of the “miserable failure” mantle.

yes! much better choices. no question about that.

but i’d like to make another point here. sure, both bill clinton and jimmy carter are miserable failures, but politics is not the only realm in which one can fail miserably.

we need to consider the most consistent perennial loser, whatever the field or endeavor. so, who do i believe is the worst miserable failure in the history of miserable failures? (well, not counting the french. they’re almost cliche at this point). who can never win, who seems jinxed, who can’t get a break from even their closest supporters?


the cubbies. you guys suck. and here’s my attempt to steady the googlebomb:

miserable failure

miserable failures

see also our poll in the right sidebar. make your voice heard.

12 Responses to “miserable failure”

  1. tiffany

    There is one way the Cubs have been extremely successful. I can’t think of another team that has such a loyal fan group. Cubs fans support their team whether winning or losing. Even if unfortunately, they have become accustomed to a fair amount of loss.

  2. Ed Gantt


    Why is it that there is no “all of the above” option on your poll?


  3. Great Post, Travis…

  4. Sigh…

    Call Clinton a miserable failure all you want, but my family moved up over his eight years, despite our struggling financial situation.

    Now that Bush’s changes are starting to take effect, we have to consider moving into a small trailer. We go without heat to save money.

    Tell that to people in our situation. I’m not presenting vague political figures. My life is case in point. The president can engage in whatever affairs he wants, that’s between him and his family, so long as MY family can keep dinner on the table. No, Bush didn’t have extra-marital relationships (that we know of), but he’s certainly not doing a good job at keeping families like mine living in the American condition (that of hard work bringing prosperity).

  5. travis

    hey, i’m sorry about your situation.

    but before we go calling clinton “accomplished” (look what he did for the sexual liberation of women!) let’s look at the data. [link] via CS&W

    bush inherited a shrinking economy from william jefferson (BJ for short) clinton. and now he’s created the biggest economic boom since reagan.

    The U.S. economy shrank in the third quarter of 2000, the government said on Wednesday, with figures showing that America was on the brink of recession months earlier than previously thought.

    Instead of inching ahead at the first reported 0.6 percent annual rate in that quarter, GDP shrank 0.5 percent, Commerce said.

    President Bush and his economic team have long insisted he inherited a recession from the former Clinton administration, and the White House may seize on these new numbers to back that claim.

    and bush’s economy?

    third-quarter 2003 data shows the most recent measure of growth a swift annual clip of 8.2 percent.

    snap! maybe if clinton woulda payed a little more attention to the economy and growing threats from islamofacism, and a little less attention to whether monica, et al were hitting his g-spot, you wouldn’t have to go without heat right now. bill clinton is your miserable failure, dear. reelect bush in 2004 if you want to see things continue to get better.

    george bush believes in god, and thus moral rights and wrongs. not like clinton, who is so confused about right and wrong he is willing to question the meaning of “is” if it’ll get him out of a jam.

  6. Al Gore Invented the Internet

    Why is it that Miserable Failure is a term reserved for W?

    Is Dean a success at anything else other than being an angry man? I think that he’s no Real American Hero, do you?

  7. Al Gore… miserable failure is not reserved for W. This miserable failure is rising far into the top 10.

  8. Read this and tell me about miserably failure!

  9. armando, are you talking about the shields article or your own grammar?

    anyway, clinton not only disgraced the united states of america with his actions, he compounded that with his unbelievably shady cover up attempts. read any of the dozens of books written on it, okay?

    i mean, we’re america. we try to think we have some standards. you don’t even hear about the leader of, i dunno, the philipines (wherever they have lots of hookers, i’m not real informed on this) getting as much action as our last president. its embarrassing.

    that’s why he’s miserable. sure, inarguably lots of presidents have engaged in similarly uncouth actions. however, as in the case of richard nixon, he eventually realized his resignation was the only way to right the harm done to the office of president and to the nation.

    i doubt BJ “draft dodger” clinton even considered that option. he was too busy ordering flowers for kathleen willey, calling monica and urging her to lie to the jury, and burning his real estate records to draft his resignation speech.

  10. Bobby

    I can’t believe you actually called Bill Clinton a draft dodger. At least he didn’t abandon his post during his service as our current beloved commander in chief did. And what dangerous job did Georgie boy choose during the height of the vietnam war? He got waived to the top of the waiting list for piloting jets in the Texas national guard. He was signed in the day he applied even though there was a waiting list. This was after getting the lowest score allowed on the pilots aptitude test. You may say that he got in on his own merits, besides the low score. Then I guess the other senator’s son and seven dallas cowboys that served in air guard did too…

    As for king Georges marvelous “economic boom”, maybe you should look at the figures from a different standpoint. Yes, the jobless rates are finally dropping, but those rates are dropping because people are taking jobs flipping burgers to keep food on the table. Yeah, that’s a great sign of an economic recovery, when my waiter has a masters degree…

    Reprinted article from the LA times…

  11. “I can’t believe you actually called Bill Clinton a draft dodger.”

    he dodged the draft. cause, effect.

    “At least he didn’t abandon his post during his service as our current beloved commander in chief did.”

    bush didn’t. he couldn’t have! (saddam might have gotten away!). nor was he getting head while carrying on phone conversations with congressmen, something for which clinton is famous.

    “[he got] the lowest score allowed on the pilots aptitude test.”

    he’s also got a harvard MBA. what do you have to show for yourself? an A in art?

    “king Georges marvelous “economic boom”,”

    uh, president. PRESIDENT george. king george’s monarchy was overthrown 230 years ago by americans with GUNS. but that idea probably scares you as much as someone with a brain preparing food.

  12. Counter-Insurgency

    Josh at bushblog is a little peeved that some anti-Bush lefties are Googlebombing President Bush’s biography and suggests emailing Google…