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May 6th 2008

My theory: Al Gore’s comments are a consequence of hitting his son’s stash

Al Gore has seized upon news of the Myanmar cyclone, claiming that this destructive storm was a consequence of global warming.

“And as we’re talking today, Terry, the death count in Myanmar from the cyclone that hit there yesterday has been rising from 15,000 to way on up there to much higher numbers now being speculated,” Gore said. “And last year a catastrophic storm from last fall hit Bangladesh. The year before, the strongest cyclone in more than 50 years hit China – and we’re seeing consequences that scientists have long predicted might be associated with continued global warming.”

Mary Jane
Creative Commons License photo credit: Concentrated Passion

5 Responses to “My theory: Al Gore’s comments are a consequence of hitting his son’s stash”

  1. M.McD

    I’m a little late with this reply, but I can’t help but express a few thoughts I’ve had recently. Mr. Gore’s global warming theory is an interesting one, but as I’ve watch the events of this unfortunate world-stopping catastrophe unfold I’m starting to develop a different theory of my own and think I should at least share it. You need only to consider these ideas as possibilities: As I’ve watched the proceedings, I can’t help but speculate that what happened actually occurred as the result of a dynamic weather system in which heat being released from rising, moist air interacted with condensed water (the very water from which it was released) thereby creating a low pressure climatic region that, when influenced by the Coriolis Effect, developed a twisting movement of ever increasing wind speeds that were strong enough to tear buildings from their foundations. I don’t know what to call this “idea” just yet, but for right now, I’m just going to call it a “synoptic scale low pressure weather system with baroclinic zones” or some other kind of intuitive language like that—at least until I figure out the science of it all.

    Admittedly, these are just fairly loose ideas right now so they’ll need to be polished. I also realize that I’m not a scientist and that this crazy argument of mine is speculative and tenuous at best, but all week I’ve been watching news reports about this on the television that show pictures of swirling colors of this “cyclone” (which colors, I believe, symbolically illustrate a set of optical halos representing the movement of air currents that indicate the strength and direction of this “weather disaster” in such way that we can, ironically, understand what this meteorological phenomenon is and how it actually occurred—or, possibly, the colors simply represent the collective interaction of Burmese auras—but, unfortunately, no one really does know what the colors mean). I’m convinced that what I’m suggesting has merit, but unfortunately we’ll never know until we have made the necessary advances in science to validate what I believe.

    Incidentally, regarding the other two catastrophes of the past few years to which Mr. Gore alludes, I’ve heard that they occurred not so much as a result of climatic developments, but, rather, because of witches. That being the case, I don’t really see the relevance they bear on the current happenings in Myanmar. In fairness to Mr. Gore, however, I did read elsewhere—and I have to whole-heartedly agree—where he’s quoted as saying “our scientists have discovered one undeniable truth that even republicans must accept: the wind was blowing really hard and it was pretty bad.”

  2. travis

    it wasn’t global warming, it was george bush. he caused katrina, and now he is at it again.

  3. doug

    George Bush hates black Burmese people.

  4. […] Perhaps McCain is planning to hire Al Gore as a campaign consultant. Personally, I’d prefer Coach Edmo. Posted by doug in doug, election […]

  5. TimDuncanBlowsGoatCheese

    Hmmm… you thoughts are quite intriguing, how may I subscribe to your newsletter.

    Speaking of stashes, bruce bowan gives free rides on his to Oberto.