we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Jun 9th 2015

Stalkers are weird

Please note this post is rated NC-17 for language and obscene content. Proceed at your own risk.

Less than two weeks ago, in response to a lunatic stalker’s harassment stretching into year seven, I posted the following:

Beginning at this moment and going into the future until the world ends, each and every time you contact me or anyone connected with me, I will post more information about you on this website. By continuing on your current course of stalking and harassment, everyone will soon learn where you live, where you work, where you went to school, your phone number and email address, and your perverted sexual fetishes. Then after I have published everything about you here, I will send it to the police.

Yet last night, I received a call from our stalker. So I have to live up to what I promised to do.

Here is where he lives:

Brian J. Fielding
Rual Barao de Torre no 132 apto 801
Rio de Janiero, Ipenama, Brazil 22411-000

He attended Columbia law school and then worked in house for the company formerly known as Intelig Telecomunicacoes Ltda, Praia De Botafog 370-9th Flr, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil 22258-9000. He was admitted to the bar on October 3, 1989 with bar number 5467, but his status is currently suspended.

Brian Fielding has sent several disturbing emails, left hundreds and hundreds of appalling comments on this blog, and at least a half-dozen voicemail messages at my workplaces in the last several years, including three in the last 100 days. Here are some of the details of his disgusting sexual fantasies:

[my name],

tonight. park. blow. bottomsup (well, at least your bottom) we. gay. happy. rocking around the world. and wow, my organ ramped and ready and rolling in you.

lonely (and extremely horny) without you

April 9, 2009 7:28 PM IP It’s always nice to be threatened with rape for having a blog.

[my name],

you swallow come better than any man i have ever met. i remember when i lived in kentucky and met this bloke who breed horses, literally and in fugures, and I swear I thought he could drink the water direct from a fire hydrant turned to max. but he is nothing compared to you. you could take more come than crap flows through a goose. you are the man and you are my man, my little boy-toy


April 9, 2009 10:12 PM IP This same comment was left on a half-dozen posts within a few minute time span. Now to transcribe his recent voicemails:

The message is I am the homosexual lover of [my name] and um he knows me. Just tell him Georgia Peach called. And if he doesn’t return my call or meet me in that park again, then I’m coming to the law firm and I’m going to cause a great big ruckus! And it’s going to be fun! Me and [my name] in that law firm. Ooooh. Tell [my name] that. Because I’m waiting. After he fucked me and he treats me with that kind of disrespect. After he fucked me and he did that to me, he won’t even return my calls. Well, I’m going to go there and I’m going to have a little confrontation.

June 8, 2015 6:37 PM EDT

Um listen you little shit. I’m going to stop by that office. I’m going to tell everyone that you’re my homosexual lover. I’m going to make a big scene. I know where you live. I understand your family. And uh I’m going to cause you a lot of fucking trouble you little fucking cunt. Get ready boy ’cause you’re in deep shit.

May 19, 2015, 11:35 PM EDT

Yes. This is a message for [my name]. I am his homosexual lover. He said that he would meet me last night. He did not. So I am very angry. And I will come visit him at your law firm. And I will expect an explanation and uh he told me he would meet me in the park and he did not. So i am very angry and I will go there and talk to him about it. And I’m tired of him living this double life, it’s ludicrous. It’s disingenuous. It’s dishonest. But I will tell him that when I meet him at your offices soon.

February 28, 2015 6:52 PM EST

What an amazing human being who contributes so much to the world. Thank you Brian for everything you have done for humanity.

Brian’s life began inauspiciously enough on March 31, 1959 in Salt Lake City, Utah, before later living in such locations as Denver, Colorado and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. His family members in Utah and Washington state probably do not approve of his behavior. Or the fact that he is a Kate Kelly disciple. For someone in his mid-fifties, he should know better.

Known aliases:
Brian Fielding
Amos Oz
Bruno Schmidt
Sartor Resartus
[dozens of obscene sexual aliases used in comments on this blog]

Known email addresses used:

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