we still remember mitch hedberg

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

Aug 25th 2004

mothereffer, i will kill you

if you ever mess with my peeps again, you cowardly little piss nozzle, i will beat you without mercy. UPDATE #1: here’s the story: A 19-year-old woman was leaving her apartment on Monday afternoon when a man, who looked dirty and possibly homeless approached her and firmly grabbed her arm. She pulled away, but the […]

May 7th 2004

age 11: a time for experimentation

in two separate incidents at age 11, i (1) pretended to be an answering machine and (2) shaved my head for no reason at all. historical documentation is here: PS: let me explain the recent rash of audio blogging. i have a job delivering car parts. i drive around all day, so cell phone […]

Apr 30th 2004

marty stephens. ready. now.

here are my sarcastic thoughts on the candidate for utah governor’s compelling slogan, via cell phone:

May 13th 2003

these, and other tales of bravery

when the going gets tough, run away! just like democrats in texas, who knew they were going to lose a certain vote, so they holed up at the holiday inn in oklahoma for a few days. we can all be assured that in the future, it will be with wet eyes that texans look back […]